Psalm 62:5 “For God alone my soul waits in silence, for my hope is in him.”

In this psalm, David describes his experience of being “assailed” and “battered.” Poor David: he’s got a lot of enemies who are always ready to kill him or slander him or dethrone him. I would be a mess.

Unlike David, I don’t regularly fear for my life (or my throne for that matter). So why did this feeling of being “assailed” and “battered” resonate with me? I wonder if David’s very particular experience is emblematic of the more universal experience of being human in a messed-up world.

My heart is battered. A few months ago, my mom died, having suffered from dementia, and with it, unbearable bouts of anxiety. There’s a sick tightening in my stomach when I recall her pain and my own helplessness. I am assailed by news of war and corruption, injustice and poverty. My friend is sick; another is deported; extended family members feud. It is all too much. As my soul withers, I attempt to distract myself with any number of entertainments. Not surprisingly, I am left empty.

Thankfully, David throws me a lifeline. In the midst of constant threats he says, “For God alone my soul waits in silence, for my hope is from him.” When my soul, my very depth is aching and I choose to push away the distractions and sit with that pain in silence or tears - no performance, no fancy prayers – but silence before God, I come back to what is true about all of this – that the God who created and loves me, who came as a child into this pain-filled world and who suffered and died to redeem it - that this good and loving God is my hope, is our hope - and I can breathe. May we all bring our assailed and battered selves to the God who loves us, who is ready to sit with us, breathe with us.

Patty Hansen